Okay so here’s a little backstory: I’ve had this cat (male) since he was a kitten (9-weeks old) and he is now 4 1/3 (neutered at 3-months old).
When I first got him, I was living with a roommate who had an old grouch for a cat.
He was mean to everyone besides his owner.
We think my cat’s behavioral problems stem from this cat.
My cat has been nothing but a big ole sweetheart until about 2 years ago.
So, 2 years ago I started noticing that at random times he’d just come up and bite me.
HARD too.
I took him to the vet and she said this sounded like “play aggression” and I needed to play with him more.
So I did.
Up to an hour each day.
He continued to bite me.
Keep in mind that he only bites me and not my fiancé who, at the time, had been living with me for over a year.
Flash forward to about 6 months ago, we got two new kittens to try to reduce the play aggression (having a playmate so he always has a constant companion).
We followed all the rules and guidelines of how to introduce cats and he started playing (aggressively) with the cats and hissing every time they crosses his path (this is a whole different thing we’re working on).
Since we got these kittens, he has sprayed on SO MANY THINGS.
For a rough idea, I’ve had to spend over 800 in the last 6 weeks replacing things he’s sprayed on.
For the replaceable things, we’ve just gotten new ones, but HE LOVES TO SPRAY ON THE CARPET.
I got this “odor eliminator” that’s specific to “tom cat spray” that works really well.
But I’ve had to use 4 bottles BECAUSE HE KEEPS SPRAYING.
We have him in a separate room from the kittens and let each out separately (slowly working to reintroduce them after about a month of being apart with treats and feeding them close to the door (working to get him comfortable with eating nose-to-nose under the door)), but he keeps spraying!
I don’t know what to do!
Please help!
Also, we just spayed the girl kittens after their first heat 10 days ago.
Spraying is continuous and happens daily regardless of how much I scrub the carpet.
Also, I started doing clicker training 2 days ago.
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Brief Answer:
The root of your neutered male cat’s spraying is almost certainly severe stress and territorial anxiety triggered first by the change in household dynamics (your fiancé moving in and the past presence of the roommate’s cat) and now critically exacerbated by the introduction of the two new kittens.
His spraying is a clear territorial marking response to the perceived threat and intrusion, which also explains the continued aggression toward you (misdirected stress/anxiety) and the kittens.
The 800 spent in the last six weeks is a clear signal that this is an escalating crisis.
The absolute first step is a veterinary check-up to rule out a Urinary Tract Infection (UTI) or other medical cause, as stress can precipitate these issues.
Simultaneously, you must implement a multi-faceted behavioral strategy focusing on environmental calming and re-establishing his security.
Specifically, you need to purchase a high-quality enzyme cleaner to permanently eliminate the old odors from the carpet and Feliway Classic diffusers for the main living areas and his safe room to reduce his anxiety.
I highly recommend you look into the structured, evidence-based program, Cat Spray Stop by Susan Westinghouse, as it provides a clear, step-by-step methodology to address the territorial anxiety driving his spraying and biting, aiming for a cost-effective, long-term solution.
Detailed Answer:
Your situation presents a classic case of a cat reacting poorly to perceived intrusions into his core territory and social structure, manifesting as spraying and aggression.
Even though your male cat was neutered early, this behavioral marking is intensely driven by stress and a need to feel secure in his environment, not by reproductive hormones.
The history of the old grouchy roommate cat likely laid a foundation of anxiety, which was then aggravated by the change in household structure and has now reached a critical point with the two new kittens.
The fact that the spraying is daily and aggressive biting persists highlights the severity of his distress.
The initial action to take is a full medical exam and urinalysis by your veterinarian.
This is the most cost-effective first step, as treating a medical issue like a UTI (which can be caused by stress) is simpler and cheaper than months of behavioral interventions.
By ruling out a medical cause, you save money on potentially ineffective products and focus your efforts correctly.
The second, and most critical, step is odor elimination using a proper enzyme cleaner.
The “odor eliminator” you’re using, even if it smells strong, is likely not an enzymatic cleaner that breaks down the odor-causing proteins.
This means that even after cleaning, the scent marker is still detectable by your cat’s incredibly sensitive nose, prompting him to repeatedly remark the same spots, leading to your 800 replacement cost.
You must immediately purchase a proven enzyme cleaner like Nature’s Miracle or Anti-Icky Poo to permanently neutralize the scent and break the cycle of remarking.
This product is an absolute non-negotiable step that will save you substantial money on future cleaning and replacement costs.
Third, you must immediately deploy Feliway Classic diffusers in the areas he frequents and especially near the areas he has sprayed.
Feliway diffusers release a synthetic copy of the feline facial pheromone, which cats use to mark an area as safe and secure.
Introducing this calming pheromone into his environment directly addresses the high stress and anxiety that is fueling the marking behavior.
This is a scientifically proven, non-invasive method that can begin reducing his distress within a few weeks and is an essential tool for managing the territorial upset caused by the kittens.
The cost of a few diffusers is minimal compared to the 800 you’ve already spent on replacement items.
Finally, because the issue is complex and involves both spraying and aggression, a structured approach is necessary.
I strongly recommend looking into Cat Spray Stop by Susan Westinghouse.
This guide provides a ‘Taste, Touch, Smell’ approach that focuses on understanding the specific triggers for your cat’s anxiety and offers step-by-step instructions for environmental modification and positive reinforcement.
The program is designed to ease your cat’s transition and help him feel secure in his territory, which is the long-term solution to both the spraying and the redirected aggression.
The knowledge gained from a comprehensive guide like this is a one-time investment that saves you from costly trial-and-error product purchases and continued damage to your home.
Continue the clicker training as planned, but ensure you also implement environmental enrichment like vertical space and strategically placed scratching posts to help him feel more secure and confident in his territory as you work to slowly, gradually, and professionally reintroduce the kittens.
The slow reintroduction, which you are correctly performing, must continue to proceed at his pace.
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