Me and my partner have three cats, but one of them M8 (neutered) is causing problems.
When we are in bed he sometimes becomes frantic and won’t settle and won’t have fuss, he jumps up onto the bed, takes a few steps then jumps down again and repeats over and over until we either close him out of the bedroom or he sprays (normally near our heads).
One odd thing about this behaviour is that he only sprays when one or both of us is in bed, and except for one isolated incident he only sprays in bed /on our heads in bed
We have had to resort to always closing him out of the bedroom at night otherwise we get urinated on, except now he frantically claws at the bedroom door continuously.
If we open the door at this point he jumps on the bed and sprays on us, so we have to take him downstairs and close the door separating the floors (there’s plenty of room, litter tray, food, water on the ground floor).
We’re not sure how to handle it because it’s not fair him feeling like this, but we also need to sleep and not be sprayed on.
The other two cats are f11, f2.
He’s lived with f2 all her life and they are always curled up together.
He’s only lived with f11 for a year and they keep their distance from each other, f11 will hiss if he comes close but generally things are fine and there hasn’t been a fight in the year they’ve lived together.
The behavior started around 3 or 4 years ago but is getting worse.
Amy advice appreciated
Brief Answer:
Your 8-year-old neutered male cat (M8) is exhibiting classic signs of territorial anxiety and resource guarding of you (the key resource) which is dramatically heightened at night, likely due to subtle, unresolved tension with the 11-year-old female (F11).
The frantic pacing and the specific act of spraying near your heads only when you are in bed indicate a stress response and a desperate, inappropriate attempt to claim this central “den” (the bed/you) before the other cats might.
The spraying is not directed at you personally but is an intense territorial marker in the highest-value location.
The repeated spraying has made the bedroom a trigger zone.
The immediate, cost-effective solution involves three steps: Medical Rule-Out (essential, even if behavioral), implementing Feliway Multicat diffusers in the home to reduce multi-cat tension, and strictly applying the Cat Spray Stop by Susan Westinghouse guide to address the root behavioral cause and redirect the marking behavior.
For the short term, you must continue to block access to the bedroom while providing a highly enriched, safe “den” area downstairs to resolve the door-clawing behavior.
Detailed Answer:
Your description paints a clear picture of a cat experiencing significant territorial distress that culminates specifically during the nighttime when you and your partner are stationary in the bed.
For a cat, the bed is the single most important, warm, and highly-scented resource, and your presence in it elevates its value significantly.
Since you have three cats, the tension with the 11-year-old female (F11), even if passive (only a hiss, no fights), is a powerful, underlying stressor for M8.
He likely feels a low-level, constant threat to his security and his social standing, which boils over into frantic anxiety when the house is quiet and the most important resource – you in the bed – is claimed.
The frantic pacing is a display of high anxiety and conflict, and spraying is the ultimate desperate measure to establish his claim and security.
The fact he only sprays when you are in bed confirms the target of his anxiety is the resource (the bed) and the social dynamic surrounding it.
Before assuming a purely behavioral fix, a trip to the vet is a mandatory first step.
While spraying is often behavioral, a sudden escalation or an odd presentation like this necessitates a full medical check, including a urinalysis, to rule out a urinary tract infection (UTI) or bladder stones.
This low-cost diagnostic is the most responsible and effective long-term preventative measure against unnecessary pain and continued spraying.
The long-term solution lies in reducing the perceived social pressure in the home.
I strongly recommend immediately deploying Feliway Multicat diffusers in the areas where the cats spend the most time, particularly near the bedroom and the main living space.
Feliway Multicat releases a synthetic copy of the Cat Appeasing Pheromone (CAP), which is naturally produced by mother cats.
This pheromone is specifically clinically proven to reduce social tension and conflict between cohabiting cats, which is the foundational problem in your home.
This is a cost-effective environmental adjustment that works 24/7 to soothe M8’s anxiety.
Simultaneously, you must implement the behavioral strategies outlined in the Cat Spray Stop by Susan Westinghouse guide.
This guide will provide structured steps for creating a more secure environment, especially focusing on M8’s needs, and helping you redirect his intense scent-marking drive.
Specifically, the strategy must include environmental enrichment on the ground floor.
Since M8 is now downstairs at night, you must make that area his safe, high-value territory.
Provide vertical space (tall cat trees, shelves), puzzle feeders to engage his mind, and dedicated resting spots.
To address the door scratching, place a large, sturdy scratching post directly in front of the bedroom door downstairs.
When he claws at the door, the post is right there for him to use instead.
Reward him when he uses the post.
Lastly, do not allow M8 back into the bedroom until the nighttime anxiety has been completely resolved for several weeks.
When you clean the existing spray spots (which must be done with an enzymatic cleaner to fully eliminate all odor traces), place a food bowl or a cat bed on the previously soiled area.
Cats instinctively do not eliminate where they eat or sleep, which helps break the association.
Consistency with the pheromones, enrichment, and a secure nighttime routine will be the most cost-effective way to manage this complex behavioral issue and ensure you get a good night’s sleep.
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